Tober's diary is composed in a small, hardbound book that she keeps with her.
Something is definitely brewing between the Catwalkers and the Pack, and it's not good at all. I ran into Shem on the street near the Bridge to Nowhere. She's very friendly, and we sat down and talked while giving each other pets and scratches. While we were talking, I told her that I left the Pack and was now with the Catwalkers, but that didn't mean we couldn't still be friends. She then shocked the hell out of me by coming right out and saying that she was planning to kill the Catwalker Matron. She just said it so calmly and cheerfully, as if she were saying "Oh, it's a lovely day today!" that I think I couldn't even reply for a couple of seconds.
I asked her if she was serious, and she said she was. I tried to remain calm and asked her why she was doing this, and she said she was doing it because Rith (the Matron) is evil, and Angela wanted her dead. Obviously, I couldn't allow this to happen. We talked a little more, then I left her as soon as I was able. I reported directly to Lindsay about this, and she of course passed on the info on to Chai and Rith. Chai told me himself that the Pack was in for "a big surprise." I don't know what that means, but I'm sure it doesn't involve someone popping out of a cake. I think we may be at war soon.
After I told Linds about the situation with Shem, she and I were talking more. I found out today that Linds essentially cannot be romantic with another person. She was fitted with a device that resembles a metal snake that sits inside her throat. She calls this thing the "weasel." It controls her breathing and heart rate, and it's designed to do something else as well: kill. This thing is activated by arousal and deployed - through Lindsay's mouth - upon sensing pressure on her lips. It enters the victim and essentially devours their insides, then returns to Linds' body. While the weasel is outside of her, her breathing and heart stops. She says the action of the weasel is so fast that it only stays outside of her body for a moment. However, without the weasel, she would die. I asked her if there were any way it could be removed and she told me there wasn't. I didn't quite know what to say to her. I'm not sure I said anything...I think I just hugged her.
The closer I get to Lindsay, the more in awe of her I am. She's so brave and strong in many ways, and somehow just keeps soldiering on. She is something she doesn't want to be, and it clearly haunts her every day. If I were in her position, I don't know how I could carry on like that.
(Note: The concept of "The Weasel" is originally from the novel Hardwired, by Walter Jon Williams. An excerpt from the novel can be read here.)
