Monday, August 27, 2007

Midian City Tober's Diary #17

Tober's diary is composed in a small, hardbound book that she keeps with her.

The first thing I realized once I joined The Pack, was that they're not bad people. In fact, I pretty much like everyone and am already developing friendships here. There's a strong female presence here, and I like it. Right now, we are mainly nekos, but The Pack is open to any race. The only part of their rules I have an issue with is hunting humans. Angela told me that it wasn't necessary for me to hunt if I didn't feel comfortable doing it. Thank god, because I honestly don't think I could hunt anything that could talk back to me.

I did my first patch-up job yesterday, on Dethis. She's always getting herself into trouble; with people outside of The Pack, and with Angela. I swear she must be a masochist. I had to extract a bullet from her, stitch some cuts and treat some abrasions. Afterwards she acted as if nothing happened. I haven't had to be a medic since my time doing post-war was stressful for me to get back into it again. I don't know why, but sometimes it makes me cry afterwards. I think I just hate seeing people get hurt, and having someone's life in my hands is a huge responsibility. On the other hand, I feel that helping people is my purpose in life, despite the rocky road I've had so far. There's certainly plenty of people to help here.

Being in The Pack isn't all serious...we kick back, relax, have nip, get drunk...all that good stuff. I have to admit, I've been drinking a lot lately. I keep telling myself it's stress, and it probably is, but god I don't want to become an alcoholic. I've been hitting the nip pretty hard lately too. I need to maintain some control. I let things happen that normally probably wouldn't happen if I wasn't fucked up. The other night, my friend Chandra led me behind the Fun House to "talk", and all I can remember of the night is both of us being naked, our bodies pressed against one another, and her touching me. Otherwise it's all a blur. I don't even know how I got back to the den.

I keep thinking about Chandra now, after that night. Was it all a dream? Was I just too fucked up that I imagined it? It's not exactly like I can ask her "Hey, did we have sex the other night?" Ugh, that wouldn't go over well. God, she's so beautiful. Everything about her is graceful and delicate, but not fragile. I don't know what she would see in someone like me...I'm just a scruffy low-class neko barely out of high school, and homeless until recently. She was a model before she came to Midian, and you can tell just by looking at her. She's magnetic...perfect alabaster skin, eyes you can lose yourself in. It's the kind of beauty that will distract you from whatever you are doing.

Anyway, back on topic...I'm not really sure if I understand what is the cause of the animosity between The Pack and the Catwalkers. Maybe it's not for me to know. All I do is relay what I see and hear. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know. I'm just trying to get by. I think about the friendships I'm forming and then I realize that those same friends will probably come to hate me once I leave. It makes me very sad. I hope this is all worth it.

Dita & October
Dita and Tober, standing by the fire in The Pack's den.


Seraphine said...

You're such a good person, saying "I honestly don't think I could hunt anything that could talk back to me". It's precisely the ability to "talk back" that gets most people killed.
Great blog, btw. You tell a compelling story. Wonderful, wonderful.

October Hush said...

Thank you, Sera.

Yes, Tober definitely couldn't hunt someone or something that could hold a conversation with her or speak to her, unless she were in a feral state and being seriously threatened.

The most important thing I want people to understand from Tober's diary is that she's a relatively normal young woman (albeit a neko, with a little bit of criminal history) who has been more or less thrown in this crazy world by fate, and forced to adapt to it.

The way I play Tober is not as a character, but as myself, in her circumstances.

Thank you for reading. I'm really glad you enjoy the diary =)

Timothy Lilliehook said...

Sera is not the only one enjoying it. I love reading it every time, as it really makes we want to roleplay again and it's fascinating to follow you through this. Thanks for sharing it with us :)

Ginseng Kyong said...

Poor Tober... it would be real hard to become close friends with the pack and then join the catwalkers. And then to have to exist in the same city.. in their eyes, it would be like one of their own joining a rival gang... and Tober would be like emotionally torn.

From what I have seen of the Pack, they look like a fun group.. but then I never see them on the rooftops.. how fun can it be to always be on the street.

tiana meriman said...

looks like little tobie is going to have to make some tough choices sometime soon. the pack or the catwalkers

Jezebella said...

Oooh how exciting, i've just finally caught up.

Are these really backdated entries to October's diary?

October Hush said...

Yes, Jez...the entries are currently about...4 month behind what's actually going on presently in Midian. I do this on purpose so that I don't interfere with any roleplay that's currently happening.

Unfortunately, sometimes it makes it difficult to remember all the details!

Esteban said...

The backdating always makes it hard for me to comment -- I want to offer advice or encouragement, but it's too late! It's like wanting to shout at the movie screen: "Don't open that door!"

October Hush said...

Please, Esteban, don't hold back from commenting! I always like to see what people are thinking. Obviously, it won't change what I write in the diary, because the events have already happened, but I love getting the feedback. It really means a lot to me.